Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

When friends and acquaintances hear Matt and I are (have been) separated for the summer, most of them feel bad for me.  They think I'm sad, lonely, crying in my Greek yogurt in the mornings and pining for someone to cuddle with in order to fall asleep at night.

The truth, is that I fall asleep at night (and some late-afternoon naps) lying spread eagle on our queen-size mattress, switching to Matt's pillow when mine gets too warm.  I always get to eat my first choice flavor of yogurt in our fridge.

For the four years before I married Matt, I lived in my own dorm room, then apartment.  I've been accustomed to the company of only my own thoughts and I'm not afraid to go to dinner and a movie by myself.  In June, nearly five years (woah!) after shacking up with Matt, I wasn't sure what to expect.  Last year we were separated for six consecutive weeks, but I was the one traveling, wining, and dining.  While Matt's motive to leave Rochester for the summer was a full-time job, I couldn't help but feel I had been left in the dust, with just a stodgy job for company.  I got nothin' on an Army wife, but here are some on my thoughts for and against being married without a husband.

FOR:

- one less step in the laundry-- sorting

-I don't have to put up with anyone when I'm tired and/or ornery

- instead of 10 dirty cups, at the end of the day, there's just one

-watching whatever tv I want, listening to the music I want, as loud as I want without earphones is liberating

-sometimes I shower as hot and long as possible just for the hell of it

-  I have an additional FULL SHELF behind the bathroom mirror on which I have placed hydrocortisone cream, stuff that makes one's hair shiny, a new bottle of nail polish, and the miscellaneous bobby pins.

- if there's something I don't like about the apt. or the car or the way the dishwasher was loaded, I have no one to pick a fight with, knowing said problem was caused by myself.

-there's been a dramatic increase in written communication

- when shopping for eggs & milk, or for clothing, or anything else, I don't have looming anxiety over when Matt is going to lose his patience (read: have a meltdown)

- I got an extra piece of mail this summer that I wouldn't have otherwise

AGAINST:

-one night I forgot to flip the deadbolt and didn't realize it until in my underwear, and at midnight, descending the abysmal staircase to achieve said conquest gave me the willies.  

- there are no freezer meals prepared and stocked away with love that I might be sustained by them. 

- making rice krispies is infinitely easier with 2 people

- when I want to double-check my spelling of any word, I have to waste energy typing that word into google, rather than verbally consult with my trusty spell-checker

-grating cheese, beating eggs, carrying in the groceries are more tolerable when I don't have to do them.

-returning from a trip to the grocery store and only then realizing I don't eat 20 apples in any given 2-week period.

- I have yet to find anyone else who wants to hold my ID and house key in their pocket while I lift at the gym

-those cocky, annoying undergrads at the gym could use some humbling and I can't bench 365# to do it myself.

- sometimes you just need a second opinion

- no one is there to humor me and roll their eyes when I'm all tucked in and realize my lips are chapped; not only retrieving said lip balm but applying it when I insist that my 'arms are cold'.  (He's more uxorious than you ever imagined, isn't he?)

- I'm bored

- there's a noticeable absence of a caretaker willing to literally lift my butt out of bed, when I can't shake myself out of a 3 hour Sunday afternoon coma nap.

In the end, there have been lots of really great things about having the place to myself.  Some good things.  Okay, in a few small, superficial ways I have enjoyed Matt's absence.  In the end, I'm looking very much forward to getting my best friend back tomorrow.

A Book I Liked

Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea
Barbara Demick

  This was a great read.  Talk about eye-opening!  The author is a journalist who spent several years living in South Korea, visiting North Korea, and interviewing defectors from North Korea.  Her book weaves the personal histories of several people while giving historical context.  I couldn't stop thinking about Orwell's 1984 as it has come to life in North Korea.  I feel like I have a much better understanding of the communist agendas of Kim Il-Sung and Kim Jong-il, and the economic collapse of a country once thought to have 'succeeded' at communism.  It was heartwrenching to read personal accounts of famine, starvation, and utter powerlessness of one's own life. <br />  The book was well-written and so interesting, I'm sure my husband grew a little tired of the 'reports' I felt compelled to give him... (Did you know they minimum height requirement of North Korea's army (5'3") was revoked because young men are not tall enough?  The lack of nutrition nation-wide has left many a 20-year-old soldier looking more like an 11-year-old boy scout.)...            The government's use of media, propaganda, and indoctrination to assert absolute control is both abhorrent and horrifying.  Billboards proclaiming simply, 'Grow Taller!' or 'We like eating two meals a day!' and the informational meetings requiring everyday mandatory attendance are almost unfathomable to me.  Electricity is scarce to non-existent and most citizens don't know the internet exists.  Dictators project themselves as Gods to be worshipped and many citizens fall in line because there is no way to know anything different.  The book is a couple years old, and times change quickly, but this has inspired me to do more of my own research and to both understand and CARE about what's happening half a world away.<br />  Do yourself a favor and pick this up.  You'll be both entertained and educated, and you might just gain a fresh appreciation for the privilege it is to live your life as you do.

First World Problems

First day back at work... I began the morning by completely forgetting my locker combination and the day went from there.  On the plus side, I must've had some awesome time off, eh?

Blasphemy

For our Easter lesson last week in Primary, we referenced Christ being 'despised and rejected of men.'  One boy asked what 'despised' meant.  I proceeded to give what I would say was a thorough, but simple definition using synonyms and an analogy.  (hate, they didn't like Him very much, they were mean to Him, etc.) He looked me in the eye before literally turning his body away and towards Brother Preslar.  He then said to Matt, "Okay, what does it really mean?"

Christmas Newsletter

Just kidding.  We don't really do those.   I am an unfaithful journal/blog-writer, but here are some reflections on the highs, lows, and stuff in between from the last 12 months or so:

- I spent six weeks in Argentina (links to group blog, Argentina GSE Rotary exchange) and Peru, and hiked the ancient Incan trail to Machu Picchu

- Matt was named Associate of the Quarter for the Albertson's stores in the entire Northwest region.  (His 'regulars' were sad to see him go!)

- I took 18 credits' worth of English classes and loved every second of it.  Really miss school.

- Matt successfully tricked convinced his wife into thinking 7-8 more years of school/training was an acceptable idea.

- I ingested blood sausage, chunks of raw bacon, some form of intestine, cuy (roasted guinea pig), and a garbage plate.

- Matt was accepted into the University of Rochester's prestigious School of Medicine.

- I also consumed copious amounts of world class beef, mate, coca tea, dulce de leche, and noquis.

- We found an affordable apartment in a great location at the very last minute.

- Leslie and I road-tripped through 10 states, stopping at Mt. Rushmore, Chicago, Kirtland, and Niagara Falls to get me settled in Rochester.  (Matt made the journey with his dad and all of our stuff.)

- Erica and I saved some cash hitch-hiking from Denver to CO Springs.

- I road-tripped with my mom, 2 sisters, and Kelly across Colorado and Wyoming, stopping in Little America for a brief ride on a brontosaurus.

-I road-tripped through Montana and Alberta to Calgary and Banff (b-e-a- utiful!- courtesy of the lovely Pratt family) with my Dad----we listed to In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida and I didn't even do my fair share of driving.

- Matt completed his 1st semester of med school with flying colors!

- While attending Matt's white coat ceremony, I was asked (by a female adult, alert and oriented x3) if I had a son or daughter attending school here.

- One sunny afternoon, our doorbell rang.  We were not expecting anyone, don't have a peephole, and I was  a bit apprehensive opening the door.  When I did, I was greeted by a man in a three piece suit shouting in a friendly manner.  He repeated himself three times before I understood, "Yeah, I need a pedicure!"  We live above a hair salon and he'd picked the wrong entrance.

-We celebrated the marriages of Liz's brother, Colin, and Matt's brother, Jordan (not to each other).  We also got to visit the Olsons and our newest family member, Greta Mae Olson, in Fort Drum!

-We mourned the sudden loss of my favorite Uncle Jeff, an inspiring man, father, Bishop, and physician.

- We paid over $4/gallon for gasoline.

- We enjoyed the beauty of Palmyra, Watkin's Glen, the Finger Lakes, and Letchworth.  We picked our own apples and became very familiar with the Erie Canal trail.

- I took an alpaca for a walk, rode an Argentine pony, held a lamb in Peruvian costume, bottle-fed a baby black bear, hypnotized the world's best bunny, and got mooned by a polar bear.

- Matt, though somewhat begrudgingly, also took an alpaca for a walk.

-We took Washington DC by storm over Christmas break and enjoyed having a great Idahoan host! (Thanks, Brinton!)

- Matt injured his back and hobbled around like an old man for a few weeks.

-I was needlessly unemployed for months whilst my nursing license was 'processed' for NY.

- We dressed up like our heroes (okay, one of us did) for Halloween.

- We have been blessed to make many new friends with some truly amazing people. Also,  I LOVE our church ward.

- Matt's bike was stolen by someone who deserves to have a pigeon poop in their eye (and I hope one does).

- The manliest man of them all, Matt finally proved what we've always known by winning a facial-hair-growing contest held by his med school class as a fundraiser for cancer research.

- I hiked, snowshoed, downhill & cross-country skied my was across Anchorage, Alaska and was entertained by the inventive Malouf family.

- (21 states and 4 countries for me!  Feeling blessed I got to travel so much, as I was concerned about the restrictions our plans might have.)

-We watched the entire LOTR series and The Hobbit over Christmas break.  Star Wars is next.

- We spent Christmas alone together, with midnight mass, snow-angels, and several great care packages.  We were also privileged to join the Howell family (we love and look up to them so much) in acting out the Nativity.  I've never seen such a convincing Herod!

- Matt mastered the iPad and has become converted to the church of Apple.

- We had dinner with someone who had dinner with Ted Bundy.

- We make acrylic paintings together sometimes.

- I got a new job at a surgery center.  The operations are simple, but there's no nights, weekends, or call!

-We miss our friends, family, and the mountains.

In the 'Mood'

We teach a primary class for our local LDS church every Sunday.  There are SEVEN six-year-old boys in our class.  Some of them have special needs.  They can be surly.  They can be sweet.  It can be fun.  It can be a challenge.
  Recently, I taught a lesson about repentance and used a band-aid in an analogy for healing our spiritual wounds.  I had, in my home stash and for in-class distribution, a box of band-aids... not just any band-aids, but SUPERHERO band-aids!  I was sure this would be an enormous hit and likewise prepared myself to be thanked and praised.  The variety included: Captain America, The Hulk, Ironman, etc.  At the end of class, I offered each boy in attendance his very own band-aid.  A couple chose theirs apathetically, before one young gent spit out, "Band-aids are useless!" and rushed out the door.  Another boy thought about it for a bit before pushing my hand back, shrugging his shoulders, and announcing, "Nah, I'm not really in the mood."
  I guess my lesson was on humility.  That, and never, ever assume you know what kind of reaction a 6-year-old boy will have.  Ever.

The Girl of Your Dreams

Same scenario as the last post, different patient:
   Corpulent, early 60's, a little homely.   He was "going to the beach" and planning on having lots of "margaritas" and generally seemed very pleased with himself for creating his own dream.  The last thing he mentioned was, "Yeah, and get to see my wife in her bathing suit!"  Sweet.