Bunnies, duckies, and fireflies, oh my!

   I went for a solid bike ride to Pittsford via the Canal Trail at dusk tonight.  The ducks were plentiful and I loved watching them ride the waves when a boat went by.  I misjudged the time of sunset and the way back was darker than I like, but the fireflies were awesome!  But my FAVORITE thing was my pacer bunny.  Ever driven down a back road, rustled up a rabbit, and then chased it for a few hundred feet?   I don't know why they run a straight line in front of the vehicle instead of simply veering off,  but I love that.
   My bike scared up a little brown bunny and he ran on the edge of the asphalt right next to me.  We kept company (doing maybe 25 mph) for a good fifty feet before he realized he could just stop and be rid of me.  I hope it happens again.

-- variety is the spice of life --

I'm good at a few things.  But I'm not great at anything.  I'm not saying that in a covert effort to receive pity or praise, or pitiful praise.  It's just, the truth.  I rarely get caught up in something, feel a burning passion, or have the ability to focus on long-term goals.  I haven't taken the time and effort to perfect my ability in any skill (unless you count circulating shoulder arthroscopies and tonsillectomies, but that's just from bland, repetitious necessity).    I've seen friends and acquaintances spend hours and hours of effort, time, and money to excel in fitness competitions, piano, baking, advanced degrees.  I've observed deep interest/commitment to triathlons, all things John Deere, vintage furniture, scripture study... you name it.  I don't have that. This has worried me more than I care to admit and I have wondered what my 'thing' is or would/should/could be.

  Then I found this and my heart felt lighter.  (No offense, I am grateful for specialists)  I just want to do everything on this list, because that's the way I was wired.  It suits me to be scattered here and there.

 "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

            - Robert A. Heinlein

Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

When friends and acquaintances hear Matt and I are (have been) separated for the summer, most of them feel bad for me.  They think I'm sad, lonely, crying in my Greek yogurt in the mornings and pining for someone to cuddle with in order to fall asleep at night.

The truth, is that I fall asleep at night (and some late-afternoon naps) lying spread eagle on our queen-size mattress, switching to Matt's pillow when mine gets too warm.  I always get to eat my first choice flavor of yogurt in our fridge.

For the four years before I married Matt, I lived in my own dorm room, then apartment.  I've been accustomed to the company of only my own thoughts and I'm not afraid to go to dinner and a movie by myself.  In June, nearly five years (woah!) after shacking up with Matt, I wasn't sure what to expect.  Last year we were separated for six consecutive weeks, but I was the one traveling, wining, and dining.  While Matt's motive to leave Rochester for the summer was a full-time job, I couldn't help but feel I had been left in the dust, with just a stodgy job for company.  I got nothin' on an Army wife, but here are some on my thoughts for and against being married without a husband.

FOR:

- one less step in the laundry-- sorting

-I don't have to put up with anyone when I'm tired and/or ornery

- instead of 10 dirty cups, at the end of the day, there's just one

-watching whatever tv I want, listening to the music I want, as loud as I want without earphones is liberating

-sometimes I shower as hot and long as possible just for the hell of it

-  I have an additional FULL SHELF behind the bathroom mirror on which I have placed hydrocortisone cream, stuff that makes one's hair shiny, a new bottle of nail polish, and the miscellaneous bobby pins.

- if there's something I don't like about the apt. or the car or the way the dishwasher was loaded, I have no one to pick a fight with, knowing said problem was caused by myself.

-there's been a dramatic increase in written communication

- when shopping for eggs & milk, or for clothing, or anything else, I don't have looming anxiety over when Matt is going to lose his patience (read: have a meltdown)

- I got an extra piece of mail this summer that I wouldn't have otherwise

AGAINST:

-one night I forgot to flip the deadbolt and didn't realize it until in my underwear, and at midnight, descending the abysmal staircase to achieve said conquest gave me the willies.  

- there are no freezer meals prepared and stocked away with love that I might be sustained by them. 

- making rice krispies is infinitely easier with 2 people

- when I want to double-check my spelling of any word, I have to waste energy typing that word into google, rather than verbally consult with my trusty spell-checker

-grating cheese, beating eggs, carrying in the groceries are more tolerable when I don't have to do them.

-returning from a trip to the grocery store and only then realizing I don't eat 20 apples in any given 2-week period.

- I have yet to find anyone else who wants to hold my ID and house key in their pocket while I lift at the gym

-those cocky, annoying undergrads at the gym could use some humbling and I can't bench 365# to do it myself.

- sometimes you just need a second opinion

- no one is there to humor me and roll their eyes when I'm all tucked in and realize my lips are chapped; not only retrieving said lip balm but applying it when I insist that my 'arms are cold'.  (He's more uxorious than you ever imagined, isn't he?)

- I'm bored

- there's a noticeable absence of a caretaker willing to literally lift my butt out of bed, when I can't shake myself out of a 3 hour Sunday afternoon coma nap.

In the end, there have been lots of really great things about having the place to myself.  Some good things.  Okay, in a few small, superficial ways I have enjoyed Matt's absence.  In the end, I'm looking very much forward to getting my best friend back tomorrow.

A Book I Liked

Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea
Barbara Demick

  This was a great read.  Talk about eye-opening!  The author is a journalist who spent several years living in South Korea, visiting North Korea, and interviewing defectors from North Korea.  Her book weaves the personal histories of several people while giving historical context.  I couldn't stop thinking about Orwell's 1984 as it has come to life in North Korea.  I feel like I have a much better understanding of the communist agendas of Kim Il-Sung and Kim Jong-il, and the economic collapse of a country once thought to have 'succeeded' at communism.  It was heartwrenching to read personal accounts of famine, starvation, and utter powerlessness of one's own life. <br />  The book was well-written and so interesting, I'm sure my husband grew a little tired of the 'reports' I felt compelled to give him... (Did you know they minimum height requirement of North Korea's army (5'3") was revoked because young men are not tall enough?  The lack of nutrition nation-wide has left many a 20-year-old soldier looking more like an 11-year-old boy scout.)...            The government's use of media, propaganda, and indoctrination to assert absolute control is both abhorrent and horrifying.  Billboards proclaiming simply, 'Grow Taller!' or 'We like eating two meals a day!' and the informational meetings requiring everyday mandatory attendance are almost unfathomable to me.  Electricity is scarce to non-existent and most citizens don't know the internet exists.  Dictators project themselves as Gods to be worshipped and many citizens fall in line because there is no way to know anything different.  The book is a couple years old, and times change quickly, but this has inspired me to do more of my own research and to both understand and CARE about what's happening half a world away.<br />  Do yourself a favor and pick this up.  You'll be both entertained and educated, and you might just gain a fresh appreciation for the privilege it is to live your life as you do.

First World Problems

First day back at work... I began the morning by completely forgetting my locker combination and the day went from there.  On the plus side, I must've had some awesome time off, eh?