Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

When friends and acquaintances hear Matt and I are (have been) separated for the summer, most of them feel bad for me.  They think I'm sad, lonely, crying in my Greek yogurt in the mornings and pining for someone to cuddle with in order to fall asleep at night.

The truth, is that I fall asleep at night (and some late-afternoon naps) lying spread eagle on our queen-size mattress, switching to Matt's pillow when mine gets too warm.  I always get to eat my first choice flavor of yogurt in our fridge.

For the four years before I married Matt, I lived in my own dorm room, then apartment.  I've been accustomed to the company of only my own thoughts and I'm not afraid to go to dinner and a movie by myself.  In June, nearly five years (woah!) after shacking up with Matt, I wasn't sure what to expect.  Last year we were separated for six consecutive weeks, but I was the one traveling, wining, and dining.  While Matt's motive to leave Rochester for the summer was a full-time job, I couldn't help but feel I had been left in the dust, with just a stodgy job for company.  I got nothin' on an Army wife, but here are some on my thoughts for and against being married without a husband.

FOR:

- one less step in the laundry-- sorting

-I don't have to put up with anyone when I'm tired and/or ornery

- instead of 10 dirty cups, at the end of the day, there's just one

-watching whatever tv I want, listening to the music I want, as loud as I want without earphones is liberating

-sometimes I shower as hot and long as possible just for the hell of it

-  I have an additional FULL SHELF behind the bathroom mirror on which I have placed hydrocortisone cream, stuff that makes one's hair shiny, a new bottle of nail polish, and the miscellaneous bobby pins.

- if there's something I don't like about the apt. or the car or the way the dishwasher was loaded, I have no one to pick a fight with, knowing said problem was caused by myself.

-there's been a dramatic increase in written communication

- when shopping for eggs & milk, or for clothing, or anything else, I don't have looming anxiety over when Matt is going to lose his patience (read: have a meltdown)

- I got an extra piece of mail this summer that I wouldn't have otherwise

AGAINST:

-one night I forgot to flip the deadbolt and didn't realize it until in my underwear, and at midnight, descending the abysmal staircase to achieve said conquest gave me the willies.  

- there are no freezer meals prepared and stocked away with love that I might be sustained by them. 

- making rice krispies is infinitely easier with 2 people

- when I want to double-check my spelling of any word, I have to waste energy typing that word into google, rather than verbally consult with my trusty spell-checker

-grating cheese, beating eggs, carrying in the groceries are more tolerable when I don't have to do them.

-returning from a trip to the grocery store and only then realizing I don't eat 20 apples in any given 2-week period.

- I have yet to find anyone else who wants to hold my ID and house key in their pocket while I lift at the gym

-those cocky, annoying undergrads at the gym could use some humbling and I can't bench 365# to do it myself.

- sometimes you just need a second opinion

- no one is there to humor me and roll their eyes when I'm all tucked in and realize my lips are chapped; not only retrieving said lip balm but applying it when I insist that my 'arms are cold'.  (He's more uxorious than you ever imagined, isn't he?)

- I'm bored

- there's a noticeable absence of a caretaker willing to literally lift my butt out of bed, when I can't shake myself out of a 3 hour Sunday afternoon coma nap.

In the end, there have been lots of really great things about having the place to myself.  Some good things.  Okay, in a few small, superficial ways I have enjoyed Matt's absence.  In the end, I'm looking very much forward to getting my best friend back tomorrow.