For 99% of our marriage, I have been going to bed and getting up before Matt. We have developed a routine where Matt tucks me in. It works well, because no matter how busy the day has been, this guarantees at least a few moments together. (Unless we are fighting, then I just go to bed myself.) And, it's also very helpful when I need a drink of water or forget my phone or something like that...
Awhile ago I emailed Matt (we do that all day long... no texting in the operating room, but emails galore) something to the effect of "I'm exhausted this week, please help me get to bed before 10p." He sent me this back: "I understand. Well, I'll put you to bed but it'll be up to you to stay there."
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