Matt-isms

I know, I know. Matt's not senile. He's not a toddler. But, 'Out of the Mouths of Babes' has got nothing on him:

-Matt: Liz, it's snowing!

Liz: No way!

Matt: Yeah!... either that or it's raining... slowly....(getting quieter) Maybe it's not snow. Maybe it's rain.

-I often ask Matt to 'come look at this' when I find cute baby animal pictures online. His response this time was, 'I would rather throw up in my mouth... and swallow.'

'It isn't easy for me to calm down. I wasn't born calm... and I'm gonna die crazy!' Matthew David Preslar's response after I told him to calm down.

- (speaking of spells while watching a 'Harry Potter' movie) 'So, why didn't she just use that one in the first place? I don't understand magic at all.'

-(pointing to the 'not-socks' I was wearing) 'They're like little lingerie pantyhose on your feetsies!.... every young man is turned on by lace.'

-(during his Pharmacy rotation break and after I confronted him about drinking ALL of our Mt. Dew stash) 'That's what happens when you have nothing to do.... you fall into vices.'

-(saying prayers before bed)

Matt: It's your turn

Liz: No, it's your turn. I said it last night.

Matt: Well, it must've been pretty uneventful, cause I sure don't remember that.

- (after listening to me lament about how my weight fluctuates uncontrollably 7-12 lbs, and how, 3 weeks after our wedding (photos!), I promptly lost 12 pounds. STUPID HORMONES! ... anyway...) 'Liz, we men like curvy women...*continues driving through 30 seconds of silence* ... not so much 'roll-y', but curvy.'

-(on the couch and out of the blue on a weekend when we'd both been inoculated with a case of the blahs) 'Aren't we supposed to relax and feel good?! This is bull crap! I feel like crap!'

- 'You're always copying me like a little sister, Liz.' (He was eating an apple and I asked him to throw me one.)

- (attempting to mock me for stuttering) 'Please, speak... in complete paragraphs.'

- (picking me up for church and observing my vintage dress) 'Hi, sweetie. Ah, you look like a third grade teacher.'

- (during a small argument) 'If you're happy, I'm happy... that's why I'm mad all the time!'

Matt also likes to scold me occasionally by way of false compliments.

-'Well, you are dressed very austentaciously!.... you look... good.'

-'You are so adept at teaching, you can prepare your whole lesson during sacrament meeting!' (this was not true)

This kid makes me laugh! Love you, Matt ;)

Thoughts of a Female Mountain Biker

Matt and I took our bikes on a recent trip to Island Park/Yellowstone/Tetons and have been mountain biking regularly here in Pocatello. (LOVE City Creek trails!) Narrow trails and heavy breathing don't invite stimulating conversation, so sometimes I simply pedal and think thoughts to myself. (stimulating or otherwise) Here are some of those thoughts in written form:

- 'My arms are itchy' (10% from the seeds and weeds that flip up and 90% from the jiggling action of the redundant flesh I apparently pack around on my upper extremities)

- coming up to a steep incline 'PEDAL HARD, GO, GO, GO!' I'm self-taught, but I'm convinced a big part of successful mountain biking is successful shifting which (I know you're surprised) has been more difficult for me than I would think. It also doesn't help that the shifters on my road bike are completely opposite.

- I endured an impressive wreck last year, and since then have decided Matt should always FOLLOW me in case I have another. (he was long gone before he realized something must have happened to me) After a steep incline I sometimes reflect on what Matt's thoughts might be. Usually I come up with '... well, if she can do it, then I can do it.'

- 'Oh, geez. This is scary. YIKES! Don't wreck. Well, at least if I endo and break my clavicle I can call one of the ortho guys and have him set it...and then I'll get some time off work! Hmmm, I could break my clavicle.'

- 'Good for you!' I think this almost every time I see an overweight and/or older person going for a walk on the trail. I don't mean this condescendingly. I see so many patients living in misery due to aging poorly and/or obesity, it makes me sincerely happy to see a person doing something good for their body.

- 'No, FOCUS' talking myself into keeping my eyes on the trail when a scampering chipmunk or other mobile wildlife tempts my attention. I've had some intense near-misses on this account... you'd think I would learn.

- I RAN OVER a good sized snake sunbathing on the trail. I also screamed bloody murder. I think the scream was more about my wheels leaving tread on this animal's body than just seeing a snake. Either way, I think it was more distracting for Matt, who, by my dramatic reaction, must have thought an Anaconda was eating me alive. I still feel squirmy and icky inside thinking about this.

- I endo-ed coming down East Fork (of all places) about a month ago. True to our guidelines, Matt was behind me and witnessed the whole thing. I landed primarily on my right elbow (and I have the scar to prove it) and my anterior torso. I was going fast, landed hard, and ended up hot, sweaty, dazed, confused, unable to catch my breath, and facedown in the dirt. Matt was very sweet and actually stopped to see if I was alright. Actually, he wouldn't shut up and asked, "Liz, are you okay? Did you hit your head? How's your arm? Is there one area of your body that hurts worse than the rest? Did you get the wind knocked out of you? Are you just having a hard time breathing? Do you need a minute? How's your bike? Are you okay? Where's it hurt?"... all in rapid succession. I may not have been the most responsive, but I was definitely still conscious enough to be irritated. (slightly)

We're cheap.

THIS IS BY NO MEANS AN EXHAUSTIVE LIST:
Example 1) Recently, on an outing to our nearest Jack In The Box (my priorities have sunk from eating healthy meals at home, to simply ensuring I don't go to bed hungry) this was made manifest in full form. After inhaling a delectable sourdough jack (*favorite) and on the way out of this fine dining establishment, I dumped mine and Matt's tray contents in the handy swinging door marked 'waste'.
It was then, with a look and tone insinuating high treason, Matt said, "Did you really just throw that away?!" I felt panic rise up in my chest and confusion muddle my mind.... "the drink... did you throw it away?!"
Like a forlorn puppy with an untrained bladder, I answered, 'Uh, yeah....' Matt rolled his eyes and shook his head, leaving no question he disapproved. Naturally, we had paid for a drink and Matt did not plan on leaving the restaurant without his free 20oz refill to take home and place in the fridge where it may or may not become flat and watered-down. We did leave. I, without regrets, and Matt, without a drop of diet Coke to rub my nose in.

Example 2) My last, um, 4 haircuts have been at ISU's trusty College of Technology Cosmetology program. (And the one before that, I made Matt do) Today was no different. It was only when my student-hair dresser was removing my protective cape, that my suspicions were fully confirmed and she (with a smile as big as Ronald McDonald's) revealed I was her '1st-ever real haircut on the floor!'. She actually did a good job-- it just took forever and my head hurt afterwards. I would expect a bit more R&R from a haircut, but hey, I'll take what my $3 will buy.

Wait, there's More) I bought Matt a nice, white, church shirt yesterday... on clearance for $12... Memorial Day sale making it $6... and then I brought a dust smudge to the attention of the sales clerk and got it for $3!

My first cell phone was kept in a 'case' I made from fabric and duct tape.

It took us 2 years to cowboy up and purchase mountain bikes. (something worth getting my hands on 8 years ago when I first moved to Pocatello)

We shop at WinCo. Yes, even the produce.

If yard-saling were a sport, we'd be state champions.

We don't have a single piece of furniture that was not pre-owned (unless you count the bookshelves we built)... let's not even talk about the clothing in my closet.

Sometimes I feel fabulously frugal, and sometimes I step back and think we're stingy and silly. Regardless, it's fulfilling to have some self-discipline in these matters. That, and a good bargain gets me high.

Smelly guy, smelly guy.... what are they feeding you?

So, today was smelly guy day at the gym. If you're a guy, smelly (like super BO + rancid curry smelly) and you were lookin' to do some flyaways, I'm sorry you missed it. I wish I had.

In other recent news, I observed some gym guy (not on smelly guy day) doing incline sit-ups as I walked towards the stairs. It was one of those really neat moments in time when you get to watch a person who doesn't know they're being watched even though they're in full-view public. He did a couple sit-ups, then paused mid sit-up to palpate his abs through his white wife-beater for 10 full seconds. This was not enough, however as he then pulled his shirt up (now shaking from holding this half-sit-up position) for an up close gander. I'm not sure if he actually sniffed, tasted, or took photos of his abdomen as I rounded the corner and descended the stairs. Men and their muscles. I hope he found what he was looking for.
In a trip to WinCo today I narrowly escaped being run down by a 30-something woman on a scooter. She, though perfectly capable of walking into the shelves, chose instead to back into a neatly arranged row of chocolate chip granola bars. It should be noted she was wearing a pair of Sketchers- Shape-Ups.

things to accomplish before i die

I first wrote my 'bucket list' in September of 2002 (*please note how this was pre 'Bucket List' movie time and that it was a bit more of an original idea.) Of the productive things I did today (sleep, empty the bathroom garbage, listen to some country music) I took the time to flip through some old journals and reviewed this list. It was quite interesting as I haven't looked at it in a long time...

The are the things I've already done (a few examples):

10) climb Mt. Borah
7) go skydiving
102) witness a miracle
22) learn to juggle (thanx be to Dana)
40) learn to moonwalk (thanx be to Dana)
28) go streaking
85) help build a Habitat for Humanity house
213) ride in a limo
178) try sushi
18) visit Paris with my husband

things I will most likely never do:
217) be on 'American Gladiator'
184) learn sign language (did I ever REALLY want to do that?)
163) teach myself to be ambidextrous
159) find a four-leafed clover
118) be a guest on Oprah (only cause her show is done ;)
86) solve the Rubiks cube
2) win at least 3 state championships (only got one)
45) triple jump 36'
103) wink with my right eye

things I could and should be doing now:
14) run a half marathon
34) learn to cross country ski
58) read the entire bible
224) learn to play Moonlight Sonata on the piano
221) learn German
150) make caramel like my moms
117) be able to identify every country on a map
87) have a 6-pack (pretty sure this is the closest I'll ever get)
60) sew
106) ollie on a skateboard

and things I most look forward to:
153) canoe Loch Ness
161) get a puppy for Christmas
223) earn a Master's degree
214) grow a live oak in my yard
30) experience childbirth (naturally)
26) see a whale in the wild
68) hand milk a cow (I've milked a goat... Kris, Katie, I may could use your help on this one)
90) buy someone a car
131) run all the stairs in the Empire State Building
171) climb Mt. Kilimanjaro
134) visit my ancestors hometowns in Wales and Sweden
140) bungee jump off a bridge
185) write a meaningful fiery letter to the editor
206) hug a giant sequoia

43) WRITE A BOOK

Best be picking a few and getting going...

LOVE AT EYE LEVEL

So, I wrote an essay for a contest in the Idaho State Journal called 'Why I Said Yes'. It's the first time I've written anything in a long time. I didn't win. Or get runner-up. Here it is anyway:

I first spied him as I maneuvered my ’92 Buick Skylark into a narrow parking spot at Idaho State University’s Bengal Studios. He was keying into apartment 106, and I was his building manager. In the short moments it took to gather my books, bag, and stethoscope, I also gathered Matthew Preslar’s muscular build, clean-shaven jaw line, and overall aura of ‘having it together’. I smiled and thought to myself, ‘Well, shoot. If he were just a little taller…’.

Not only was Matt a bona fide pharmacy student, he was an Idaho farm boy who loved to read and had a girlfriend. I was a senior nursing student busy with a slew of extracurriculars. We made small talk at church, and he started coming to a dinner club I had with a few other residents. Fall became winter, he lost the girlfriend and we found a platonic friendship; discussing politics, medicine, and our mutual love of all fresh fruit. I became exceedingly impressed with Matt, but was not yet smitten by him. After all, I was going to graduate, volunteer as a nurse in wild Africa, road bike through Europe, and publish a best-seller.

As buds reappeared on trees and squirrels reappeared on the Hutchinson Quadrangle, Matt and I carpooled, ate late-night burritos from Rolberto’s, and held heated debates regarding the coolness/lameness of the Los Angeles Lakers. We sat a little closer, smiled a little bigger, and (gasp!) held hands!

However, our story didn’t truly begin until one blissful, balmy, summer’s day in 2008. Atop a rocky cliff overlooking Willow Creek near Bone, Idaho and with an ever-so-faint smirk on his face, Matt asked me what my 5-year plan was. I spouted off a tentative plan and he did the same, ending with “…but mostly, I want to be with you.” ‘Great!’ I thought, simply hoping we would no longer discuss our future in only hypothetical terms. He continued, surprising me to happy tears, “…so, I was wondering… if you would marry me.” His voice was a little shaky and I asked him if he was serious at least twice before telling him I would be honored to be his wife.

It was only after the rush of endorphins had waned that Matt explained, “Sorry, I didn’t kneel… I didn’t want to fall off the cliff.”

I’ve learned that Matt is a picky eater, he hates dancing, and he turns the thermostat down when I’m not looking. He also works hard, helps others, and makes me laugh every day. I’m so thankful for the thousands of reasons he’s given me to have said yes that summer day. I’m not the kind to tell you marriage is bliss, or that a dream wedding is the answer to all of life’s questions and challenges. But I will tell you this: when we kiss hello, I don’t have to kink my neck or stand tip-toed. Matt is all that I want and more than I deserve.

DAYS 7 & 8

Well, I like to eat... pretty much everywhere, but especially places with a good steak, shrimp alfredo, and/or roasted pineapple. My makeup is nothing special, save to say when I wear it my co-workers are like, "Oh, you did.. something.. to your eyes today!" I love Burt's Bees! Chapstick is the best and this soap is AMAZING $7 for a bar that's lasted me a loooooong time. That is all.

DAYS 3,4,5 &6

Yep, bought some very exciting dryer sheets recently.

I would be happy with a puppy, kitten, duckling, piglet, filly, baby panda, lambs, or a baby donkey. (see how easy I am to please?) One day we WILL have a baby llama who will grow into an adult llama who will protect our sheep from predators. That is my plan.

I have several hundred wedding pictures on cd, but this one from our engagement (2.5 years ago & with my best friend) remains my all-time favorite. Thank you, Shirleen! (Matt's mom has mad photography skills)

*Can't freaking make this post put the pictures and text where I want... gah!

Day 2: You Are What You Eat

Well, technically, I should be posting a picture of Guittard chocolate chips, cinnamon hearts, and juju hearts. Alas, what can I post?! I ate them all. For dinner.

SO, YO, HERE WE GO

Well, the bad news is... I wrote a cheesy, shameless plug for Shutterfly on my blog. The good news is... I got 50 free Christmas cards made because of it and then deleted said post. I have a silly little friend with a silly little idea (see list below) I am going to try until I come up with something to write about or lose motivation all-together.

The "challenges" are as follows:
1) post a picture of yourself and how your day was
2) post a picture of something you ate today
3) post a picture of your best friend
4) post a picture of yourself from 2 years ago
5) post a picture of a pet or a pet your wouldn't mind having
6) picture of the last item you purchased
7) your favorite place to eat
8) What is in your make up bag
9) picture of the town you live in
10) favorite musician
11) TV show you're currently addicted to
12) something you don't leave your house without
13) your celebrity crush
14) picture of you and your familia
15) something you crave alot
16) picture of something that makes you happy
17) 15 facts about you
18) pic ture of something that means a lot to you
19) what is in your purse
20) your favorite movie

Day #1

Yep, work at 0545 followed by a nap in my new pj pants, some laundry, and my bun-headed, sweatshirted body getting to the gym.... nothing too exciting. One of my cases today was a total vaginal hysterectomy and I've added a pic to help you visualize the offending organ (and more fully understand a day in my life :). Favorite quote of the day (224lb 14-year old girl under the influence of Versed, on the way back to the operating room to have her gallbladder removed)

"You guys aren't going to see my 'stuff', right?!"

By 'stuff', I'm assuming she meant her nether region and I'm happy to say we did not.